Running has always been a different kettle of fish.
I feel invigorated, energized and unstoppable. I feel like I can conquer the world. Runners beware!!
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Running my Life
There are two sets of people I envy: Writers and Long Distance Runners.
Being very left brained (let's save the left vs right discussion for another post), i have always looked with awe and great appreciation on those who can weave words together that mesmerize; be it a line, phrase, poem, song or an entire tale. My aunt, a great english teacher, once told me that my essays were pure bones, no meat. I have never forgotten these words which were said to me when i was still in primary school, and though i am still convinced that the skeleton is what is important, and the meat is unnecessary drivel adornment, my envy remains. I think in part this blog was to help me face that envy head on.
I was very athletic in my youth :), athletics (100m), tennis and netball in high school; volleyball, football, cricket at university and even a short stint playing for my country in volleyball. But what i could never do was run for any length of time. Excruciating shin splints, knee issues, back pain, all would surface if i tried to run for even 5 minutes. Thankfully after finally getting it all checked out, the issues seem to be pronated feet and an underdeveloped quad (vastus medialis) and with some rehabilitation and semi-customized insoles, i have been able to jog on the treadmill at the gym with no adverse effects. I thus decided to participate in a 5k for charity last weekend in the driving rain of the system that would become TS Nicole. I chose to run, thinking i would walk more than run, but wanting the option to run just the same. I finished (albeit 172nd out of 267 entrants) in 36:22 having run (jogged) at least 85% of the distance. I have been jogging consistently in the gym since and have decided that road racing (uhmmm participating) will be my new thing. I am off to get running shoes, customized insoles and proper socks.
I feel invigorated, energized and unstoppable. I feel like I can conquer the world.
I feel invigorated, energized and unstoppable. I feel like I can conquer the world. 
Sunday, June 06, 2010
all i ever think about
heard this song for the first time today....and it is so how i am feeling right now!!
enjoy!
Monday, May 17, 2010
The anatomy of Hurt
At first there is a sinking feeling..
unless u have felt this u probably cannot imagine what the feeling is..
but literally it feels as if your heart drops to the very bottom of ur stomach..
it then begins to beat so quickly, u think u may be having a heart attack..
your whole body becomes weak, u want to move but u cannot
even to lift ur hands to brush away tears requires what feels like a superhuman effort..
u are hungry, but u have no appetite..
u force urself to eat because the hunger pangs are crippling you..
yet u can take no more than two or three bites of what u have prepared..
ur tummy aches and u have to use the bathroom..
five times in 3 hours...the diarrhoea dehydrates you..
you are now even weaker than you were before...
u try to sleep, but u can't, images of the betrayal plays thru ur mind constantly and they will not stop..
if you believe in a higher power, u BEG them to stop the pain,
u have been through it before, u know u cannot go thru it again..
you try to distract urself with things you have to do,
clean house, watch tennis, write that report...
but before long u remember and all you want to do is crawl into bed and fall asleep...
nothing gets done, u have wasted the day, u r now even more behind than u were before...
and still you cannot force yourself to do what u know needs to be done...
u see u think i am just angry and upset..
what u don't know is that i have died a little inside...
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Happy New Year?
I think i will be back to blogging this year....i hope all those who have expressly stated that they missed my blog will be happy..
Originally this blog was started to focus on the normalcy of life in Jamaica amid the turmoil (crime stats indicate that we MUST be at war), now it shall pretty much focus on anything that i am focused on.
It has not been a particularly happy new year for me thus far, but i have had to grin and return the sentiments as they are told to me. I do wish everyone health, strength, prosperity, love and laughter for the new year....it is a new decade and trod on we must, and maybe just maybe the sun will break through the rain clouds and not only will there be a rainbow but also a pot of gold waiting at its end.
Originally this blog was started to focus on the normalcy of life in Jamaica amid the turmoil (crime stats indicate that we MUST be at war), now it shall pretty much focus on anything that i am focused on.
It has not been a particularly happy new year for me thus far, but i have had to grin and return the sentiments as they are told to me. I do wish everyone health, strength, prosperity, love and laughter for the new year....it is a new decade and trod on we must, and maybe just maybe the sun will break through the rain clouds and not only will there be a rainbow but also a pot of gold waiting at its end.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I saw a dead man today
I read an article in one of our daily newspapers that compared Jamaica to a country at war. It reminded me that this was exactly why my blog was started...hence the name 'On the Edge of War'. At some point within the almost two years of the blog, life has been so normal that i almost forgot about the war that was brewing. This sense of well being was jarred over the past two weeks when almost every morning i awoke to the news that multiple people were killed the night before. Actually a story in another newspaper heralded the fact that 47 people have been murdered in the last 7 days. The latest statistics indicate that there have been 1477 reported murders since the start of the year. In a nation of approximately 2.5 million people that puts us third on the murders per capita list, behind only Colombia and South Africa.
I would be lying if i said i was not more than a little scared. A co-worker's cousin and her husband was attacked two weeks ago, their door was kicked off and shots fired. The husband died, the cousin is battling for her life in the hospital. They think it is a case of mistaken identity. Purportedly, criminals will send a note of apology to the family of the deceased in case of mistake identity. How gallant of them.
This increase in violence seems to stem from the local government elections that were held yesterday. Local Government???? WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THAT? Well, so many people thought, but obviously this is not the case, even a little power is still power i guess.
I apologize if my ramblings are a little disjointed, i am feeling a tad out of it this morning. I was awoken at 5:30 am by banging on a neighbour's door (aaahhh the joys of apartment living!). Turns out that they were trying to wake the occupant whose smoke alarm was going off. They finally had to break down the door and the woosh of smoke that erupted led me to rush inside (i had gone on my balcony to find the source of the racket) and throw clothes on and try to grab important papers and my laptop. I went downstairs to see them breaking down the front door with a pick-axe...the back door had burglar bars and no amount of commotion could rouse the occupant. There was no hindrance at the front, but the smoke was so heavy, no one could go in. By this time the fire brigade was called and had turned up in a timely manner, just as the apartment caught fire. Unfortunately the occupant was long dead from smoke inhalation. It seems the smoke alarm had been going off since at least 10 pm last evening, but no one who heard it figured out what it was. The firemen then informed us that the only reason the building had not gone up in flames was the fact that the apartment was tightly closed preventing air from entering. The flames started after the doors were opened and oxygen allowed in. Of course maybe if a window had been open someone would have seen the smoke early and the occupant could have been saved. Again, maybe not!!
The police came, they sealed the front of the apartment but they couldn't seal the back. The bedroom is towards the back, and there, through the window, we saw the unfortunate soul, lying half on and half off his bed, fully clothed, his cell phone burned, his mattress charred and a hole in the bed where his cigarette had fallen from his fingers.
The coroners are yet to arrive.
I would be lying if i said i was not more than a little scared. A co-worker's cousin and her husband was attacked two weeks ago, their door was kicked off and shots fired. The husband died, the cousin is battling for her life in the hospital. They think it is a case of mistaken identity. Purportedly, criminals will send a note of apology to the family of the deceased in case of mistake identity. How gallant of them.
This increase in violence seems to stem from the local government elections that were held yesterday. Local Government???? WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THAT? Well, so many people thought, but obviously this is not the case, even a little power is still power i guess.
I apologize if my ramblings are a little disjointed, i am feeling a tad out of it this morning. I was awoken at 5:30 am by banging on a neighbour's door (aaahhh the joys of apartment living!). Turns out that they were trying to wake the occupant whose smoke alarm was going off. They finally had to break down the door and the woosh of smoke that erupted led me to rush inside (i had gone on my balcony to find the source of the racket) and throw clothes on and try to grab important papers and my laptop. I went downstairs to see them breaking down the front door with a pick-axe...the back door had burglar bars and no amount of commotion could rouse the occupant. There was no hindrance at the front, but the smoke was so heavy, no one could go in. By this time the fire brigade was called and had turned up in a timely manner, just as the apartment caught fire. Unfortunately the occupant was long dead from smoke inhalation. It seems the smoke alarm had been going off since at least 10 pm last evening, but no one who heard it figured out what it was. The firemen then informed us that the only reason the building had not gone up in flames was the fact that the apartment was tightly closed preventing air from entering. The flames started after the doors were opened and oxygen allowed in. Of course maybe if a window had been open someone would have seen the smoke early and the occupant could have been saved. Again, maybe not!!
The police came, they sealed the front of the apartment but they couldn't seal the back. The bedroom is towards the back, and there, through the window, we saw the unfortunate soul, lying half on and half off his bed, fully clothed, his cell phone burned, his mattress charred and a hole in the bed where his cigarette had fallen from his fingers.
The coroners are yet to arrive.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
I cheated!!
And i feel really bad..
No folks...i did NOT cheat on the love of my life.....so banish those thoughts from your heads right now!!!
I cheated on my hairdresser with my pedicurist...*Sigh* The story goes like this: I was planning to wash my hair today...no easy task with more than my share of hair and loc's that almost unravel as soon as water touches them (hence my propensity for only washing when i go my loctician every six weeks). So i am getting a pedicure and the talk turns to hair and i am informed that they also do grooming of locs...so a light bulb went off in my head and i thought to myself "why not get my hair washed here." Now i expressly stated that i only wanted it washed and palm rolled and i was assured that this would be so.
Next thing i know the loc'ing tool comes out..i insist there is no need to tighten i am again assured that no tightening just a single pull through to get them sitting down...however 4 hours later, my hair has been fully groomed, the normal cost for grooming is then INCREASED (due to the amount of hair they say) and i have lost at least two hours of my day that i was planning to dedicate to work (that i still have to do by the way).
Now i was to see my regular hairdresser in two weeks, but i will have to forego that visit and i feel really shitty, like i just stabbed a friend in the back...*sigh*
Am i the only one who can't get hairdressers to listen to me???
No folks...i did NOT cheat on the love of my life.....so banish those thoughts from your heads right now!!!
I cheated on my hairdresser with my pedicurist...*Sigh* The story goes like this: I was planning to wash my hair today...no easy task with more than my share of hair and loc's that almost unravel as soon as water touches them (hence my propensity for only washing when i go my loctician every six weeks). So i am getting a pedicure and the talk turns to hair and i am informed that they also do grooming of locs...so a light bulb went off in my head and i thought to myself "why not get my hair washed here." Now i expressly stated that i only wanted it washed and palm rolled and i was assured that this would be so.
Next thing i know the loc'ing tool comes out..i insist there is no need to tighten i am again assured that no tightening just a single pull through to get them sitting down...however 4 hours later, my hair has been fully groomed, the normal cost for grooming is then INCREASED (due to the amount of hair they say) and i have lost at least two hours of my day that i was planning to dedicate to work (that i still have to do by the way).
Now i was to see my regular hairdresser in two weeks, but i will have to forego that visit and i feel really shitty, like i just stabbed a friend in the back...*sigh*
Am i the only one who can't get hairdressers to listen to me???
Friday, November 02, 2007
How much is too much?
Where do we draw the line? At what point can we take no more? When should we just say enough is enough.....stop now!
well it has been raining almost continuously for the last four weeks. I think there was a three day break at one point, but that occurred while i was off the island, so as far as i am concerned, the rain has not stopped. Now i love rainy weather, i love the overcast skies, i love the sound of raindrops on my window and i love the slight breeze and cooler temperatures that it brings.
The only thing i hate about the rain is the Jamaican road. Craters the size of small cars open up, water flows along it like a re-directed river, traffic is bumper to bumper, no one wants to wait and intersections become gridlocked, and my usual 5 minute journey to the gym becomes 30 minutes.
Apart from this, it's still love, so while the majority of Jamaicans are begging for a ease in the weather, i am happily going along singing "send down the rain!"
Let me add that i commiserate with those who have been flooded out, or have lost property due to landslide. One person lost her life when a landslide took part of her home and my condolences go out to her family.
well it has been raining almost continuously for the last four weeks. I think there was a three day break at one point, but that occurred while i was off the island, so as far as i am concerned, the rain has not stopped. Now i love rainy weather, i love the overcast skies, i love the sound of raindrops on my window and i love the slight breeze and cooler temperatures that it brings.
The only thing i hate about the rain is the Jamaican road. Craters the size of small cars open up, water flows along it like a re-directed river, traffic is bumper to bumper, no one wants to wait and intersections become gridlocked, and my usual 5 minute journey to the gym becomes 30 minutes.
Apart from this, it's still love, so while the majority of Jamaicans are begging for a ease in the weather, i am happily going along singing "send down the rain!"
Let me add that i commiserate with those who have been flooded out, or have lost property due to landslide. One person lost her life when a landslide took part of her home and my condolences go out to her family.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
What Have I Been Doing?
After a fellow blogger made underhanded comments about my tardiness to update my blog, i decided to do something about it today. I was actually surprised to see that i haven't written a post since July!!!!
Since that time, I have been on vacation...TWICE, received an increase in salary, received a promotion; Jamaica has had a general election, a change in ruling party, a hurricane (sideswiped, thank god!!!) and flood rains. Lucky Dube has been killed in South Africa, Jah Cure free from prison in Jamaica and Beenie Man separated form his wife. All in all, alot has happened in the three months since my last post.
Then there was Mellovibes last night..Now you should all know that I am no spring chicken, and while i do make an effort to drag myself from in front of the tv from time to time and go shake a leg or lyme with friends, I am normally willing the time to pass quickly so that i can get back to my bed...lol. Well not so last night. For some reason, i have never been to Mellovibes before, something (vacations included) has always come up causing me to miss it, but i have always recognized it as a party that i would really enjoy. Music from the 80s and 90s!!!! I danced so hard last night that at one point i thought i was having an asthma attack. I was doing the running man in three inch heels for chrissake......and the intermittent downpours didn't help either. I didn't even remember that i could bubble down to the ground...LOL .....I love 80s-90s music!!
oh yeah...I have also been working very hard. The stress at work is never ending...but here's to more Mellovibes!!!!
bless!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
My slight headache is a brain tumour????
So i finally went to the orthodontist after repeated urging from my dentist....I decided to get the assessment done and move from there. Afterall i had what i thought was a slight problem - my top and bottom teeth meet edge to edge instead of the bottom ones being slightly inside of the top ones (a slight under bite?). I also have an inherited condition that results in a hardly noticeable missing incisor. I however have a beautiful smile that i constantly get complimented on. :)
I think the first sign of a problem was when the treatment co-ordinator said "oh oh, you have many problems there." I was like 'what? I barely have one little problem'. It became even clearer that things weren't going well when we sat to look at the many closeups she had taken of my face and teeth and said "hmmmm u may have to do dental surgery to correct for that missing tooth". SURGERY? (BTW big up to Blends, my face looked almost flawless on my close-ups). She became quite agitated and went to get the Orthodontist who looked at the pictures and became extremely grim.
He looked at my profile and asked me what did i think of my jaw. I commented that i have fat cheeks? He said your lower jaw is too big, you are gonna have to do surgery to pull back the jaw bone, and we are gonna have to extract three incisors to maintain the symmetry of your teeth...this after 24 months of braces. When he saw the incredulous look on my face he told me to hop on to the examination chair and proceeded to list all my defects to his eager co-conspirator.
Open bite
Cross bite
protruding lower jaw
missing teeth
spaces between teeth
*sigh*
Full orthodontic treatment suggested - 28 - 30 months of braces. Dental surgery after 24 months to correct the protruding lower jaw, retainers for the rest or your life.
HUH? BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SMILE!!!!!!!
His projected treatment costs totalled USD 13,440.00 and yes he quoted his prices in US dollars. Does anyone even remember that slight problem that i had before i entered his office. I did comment that this is the exact reason people hated going to doctors...all i wanted were painkillers for this slight headache and what do I get - a prediction that my life as i know it, is coming to an end.
Well i am sure you all can tell that i am keeping my openbite/crossbite/protruding jaw/spaced out teeth smile that i know is absolutely beautiful.
I think the first sign of a problem was when the treatment co-ordinator said "oh oh, you have many problems there." I was like 'what? I barely have one little problem'. It became even clearer that things weren't going well when we sat to look at the many closeups she had taken of my face and teeth and said "hmmmm u may have to do dental surgery to correct for that missing tooth". SURGERY? (BTW big up to Blends, my face looked almost flawless on my close-ups). She became quite agitated and went to get the Orthodontist who looked at the pictures and became extremely grim.
He looked at my profile and asked me what did i think of my jaw. I commented that i have fat cheeks? He said your lower jaw is too big, you are gonna have to do surgery to pull back the jaw bone, and we are gonna have to extract three incisors to maintain the symmetry of your teeth...this after 24 months of braces. When he saw the incredulous look on my face he told me to hop on to the examination chair and proceeded to list all my defects to his eager co-conspirator.
Open bite
Cross bite
protruding lower jaw
missing teeth
spaces between teeth
*sigh*
Full orthodontic treatment suggested - 28 - 30 months of braces. Dental surgery after 24 months to correct the protruding lower jaw, retainers for the rest or your life.
HUH? BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SMILE!!!!!!!
His projected treatment costs totalled USD 13,440.00 and yes he quoted his prices in US dollars. Does anyone even remember that slight problem that i had before i entered his office. I did comment that this is the exact reason people hated going to doctors...all i wanted were painkillers for this slight headache and what do I get - a prediction that my life as i know it, is coming to an end.
Well i am sure you all can tell that i am keeping my openbite/crossbite/protruding jaw/spaced out teeth smile that i know is absolutely beautiful.
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
How Safe is Safe?
So my blogging stopped as suddenly as it restarted..lol; had something to do, i imagine, with the fact that i had cable tv and internet installed that very week. The phone people (cable and wutless??) originally told me 20 days to installation, when i checked back two weeks later they told me another 5 weeks...i however got a voip phone (for international calls) installed the very same day i applied....not from c&w.
Anyway, if you don't know by now, i have moved house. This should be my final move for a loooong time, as i am in the process of purchasing the apartment into which i moved. This apartment is very centrally located yet quiet and homey. There are automatic gates that need either a code or a little device to open, and although there are no security guards, i think we all felt pretty safe. Well i sure did, though the few apartments that had signs indicating that they were further protected by a private security firm did give me cause to wonder in the early days. Well that feeling of security was certainly shattered in the wee hours of Saturday morning, when the quiet of the night was interrupted by repeated screams.
I had awoken about 30 minutes before the commotion started and had made my way into my bedroom, getting up from in front of the tv...i fall asleep in my settee almost every night! I was actually not feeling very sleepy and had gotten up to use the bathroom when I heard what I thought was a child crying. It turned out that it was a young lady who had awoken to find an intruder in her apartment, whose purpose it seemed was to rape her. Thank god her fighting and screaming drove him to run away even before neighbours could react. I am hoping here, that eventually they would have reacted. Of course I also could not get back to sleep; by time the police and security firm left it was about 4:30 am. I tried to go to sleep, but every time i would doze, something would wake me and i would jump up, adrenaline pumping...i think i finally got to sleep at about 7 am (it was bright and sunny then) and i still had to lock my bedroom door before i could feel comfortable enough to sleep!!
This incident drives home the fact that you always have to be smart about your personal security, even if you are in the 'safe haven' of your home. In places i have lived previously, i would for instance try to get home a dawn when i think it would be safer than in the early morning when it is still dark out. At this complex however, that fear was no longer with me and i happily head home at 4 am after a night of uhhhhhmmmmmm relaxation...but now I must ask myself 'how safe am I really?' and know that no matter what time it is, I have to keep an eye out for any danger that may be lurking.
I give thanks still that i have never been robbed or attacked (does this count?) *knocking on wood*
Anyway, if you don't know by now, i have moved house. This should be my final move for a loooong time, as i am in the process of purchasing the apartment into which i moved. This apartment is very centrally located yet quiet and homey. There are automatic gates that need either a code or a little device to open, and although there are no security guards, i think we all felt pretty safe. Well i sure did, though the few apartments that had signs indicating that they were further protected by a private security firm did give me cause to wonder in the early days. Well that feeling of security was certainly shattered in the wee hours of Saturday morning, when the quiet of the night was interrupted by repeated screams.
I had awoken about 30 minutes before the commotion started and had made my way into my bedroom, getting up from in front of the tv...i fall asleep in my settee almost every night! I was actually not feeling very sleepy and had gotten up to use the bathroom when I heard what I thought was a child crying. It turned out that it was a young lady who had awoken to find an intruder in her apartment, whose purpose it seemed was to rape her. Thank god her fighting and screaming drove him to run away even before neighbours could react. I am hoping here, that eventually they would have reacted. Of course I also could not get back to sleep; by time the police and security firm left it was about 4:30 am. I tried to go to sleep, but every time i would doze, something would wake me and i would jump up, adrenaline pumping...i think i finally got to sleep at about 7 am (it was bright and sunny then) and i still had to lock my bedroom door before i could feel comfortable enough to sleep!!
This incident drives home the fact that you always have to be smart about your personal security, even if you are in the 'safe haven' of your home. In places i have lived previously, i would for instance try to get home a dawn when i think it would be safer than in the early morning when it is still dark out. At this complex however, that fear was no longer with me and i happily head home at 4 am after a night of uhhhhhmmmmmm relaxation...but now I must ask myself 'how safe am I really?' and know that no matter what time it is, I have to keep an eye out for any danger that may be lurking.
I give thanks still that i have never been robbed or attacked (does this count?) *knocking on wood*
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Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Getting Old Part Deux
When it rains, it certainly pours. Here i am again, just one day after writing my last blog entry. As unbelievable as it may seem, the reason is very simple. Having just moved house, i have yet to receive cable, internet, or phone services. I am like a ship without a captain, an aimless wanderer in the sea of life. I went and paid for both cable and internet services today...cost me a tidy sum too, but life is just not the same without these things which have become necessary to everyday life.
I also went to see the doctor today about my trick knee...i have been having problems since my university days (waaaaaaaaaay back in the day), but finally decided to go get it checked out..his verdict....I am old and fat and need to take care of my body....dammit...thank god for a healthy sense of self..otherwise i may be forced to kill somebody...Now if there was any doubt in my mind about the aging process, it has certainly been removed.
One thing that i will take away from my visit to the doctor today is the need for young athletes to care of their bodies. I will admit that i was bitter for a few minutes. The thought that my being athletic and playing a sport that i loved, a sport that kept me fit and strong, has now resulted in my having irreversible knee issues was a little much to bear. Should I then discourage my offspring (still hoping) from playing sports? I decided that the answer could not be as simple as this. There must be a way for youngsters to get all the positives that sports bring, without damning themselves to a pain filled life.
Or maybe I should just accept that i am an old bird now...lol
I also went to see the doctor today about my trick knee...i have been having problems since my university days (waaaaaaaaaay back in the day), but finally decided to go get it checked out..his verdict....I am old and fat and need to take care of my body....dammit...thank god for a healthy sense of self..otherwise i may be forced to kill somebody...Now if there was any doubt in my mind about the aging process, it has certainly been removed.
One thing that i will take away from my visit to the doctor today is the need for young athletes to care of their bodies. I will admit that i was bitter for a few minutes. The thought that my being athletic and playing a sport that i loved, a sport that kept me fit and strong, has now resulted in my having irreversible knee issues was a little much to bear. Should I then discourage my offspring (still hoping) from playing sports? I decided that the answer could not be as simple as this. There must be a way for youngsters to get all the positives that sports bring, without damning themselves to a pain filled life.
Or maybe I should just accept that i am an old bird now...lol
Getting Old!!
Now anybody who has ever moved house before knows that this is not merely a one or two day affair, but more of a gradual process that can take up to three months. Well I began this process on friday and given how the apartment looks, i am estimating a six week journey (it could be worse huh?).
Now if you are young and spry moving is a breeze, otherwise, not so cool. All that tugging and hauling and constant trips up and down a flight of steps will take a toll on aging bodies. My cousin, who helped with the heavy lifting, is complaining that he can't move. He rushes to reassure me that its good pain, and he likes the pain (this said as he tries to stifle a groan, probably after shifting the phone from hand to hand...lol). For me the pain is not so good. I cannot bend one leg at the knee as the pain is just unbearable. In distress i describe the pain to my boyfriend; distress caused mainly by the fact that i had scheduled a tennis session this week, plus paid for three months at the gym; distress caused by the realization that my weight will move in the wrong direction (sorta like my age) if I don't get moving (not house...lol) soon; to which he nonchalantly replied "you're getting old!!"
Is this what passes for honesty in a relationship, may i have less honesty please. Can you not reiterate stuff that i am very aware of...lol. But no, i have had knee issues for a long time due mainly to a long period of competitive volleyball. I have always tried to avoid the doctor and the pain has always abated. This time i fear this is not going to be the case (we do find it harder to heal as we get older you know), and i feel its time to cancel that appointment with the orthodontist (afterall my teeth don't hurt) and get in line to see an orthopedic specialist...the very name conjures images of old people dont?
Still, I am enojoying moving house, it gives me a chance to update stuff (just the little things) and get new stuff (just little things) to make the space livable. And guess what....it has been three days and i have not encountered a single lizard.
Life is good!
Now if you are young and spry moving is a breeze, otherwise, not so cool. All that tugging and hauling and constant trips up and down a flight of steps will take a toll on aging bodies. My cousin, who helped with the heavy lifting, is complaining that he can't move. He rushes to reassure me that its good pain, and he likes the pain (this said as he tries to stifle a groan, probably after shifting the phone from hand to hand...lol). For me the pain is not so good. I cannot bend one leg at the knee as the pain is just unbearable. In distress i describe the pain to my boyfriend; distress caused mainly by the fact that i had scheduled a tennis session this week, plus paid for three months at the gym; distress caused by the realization that my weight will move in the wrong direction (sorta like my age) if I don't get moving (not house...lol) soon; to which he nonchalantly replied "you're getting old!!"
Is this what passes for honesty in a relationship, may i have less honesty please. Can you not reiterate stuff that i am very aware of...lol. But no, i have had knee issues for a long time due mainly to a long period of competitive volleyball. I have always tried to avoid the doctor and the pain has always abated. This time i fear this is not going to be the case (we do find it harder to heal as we get older you know), and i feel its time to cancel that appointment with the orthodontist (afterall my teeth don't hurt) and get in line to see an orthopedic specialist...the very name conjures images of old people dont?
Still, I am enojoying moving house, it gives me a chance to update stuff (just the little things) and get new stuff (just little things) to make the space livable. And guess what....it has been three days and i have not encountered a single lizard.
Life is good!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I wish i blogged more!!
But hey! I am not a writer and i writer i shall never be..i don't even feel bad about my lack of blogging...a fellow blogger even threatened to remove the link to my blog...but still i am unmoved...a writer i am not. That said let me get right into it. I expect to move into my own apartment before the month is out. I am hoping this will be a defining moment in my life as i really cannot identify any thing thus far which i have found to be life altering. Maybe its just my outlook on life and my willingness to work with the hands that i have been dealt, but there has really been nothing that i can pinpoint which has redirected my thoughts or actions. My experiences thus far has helped to shape the person i am today; but to pinpoint an event and say..here, this is where i became a better person, i just cannot do it. Now there have been points in my life that i can point out as being important..but were they eureka moments.? i just don't think so!
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Sunday, January 28, 2007
A Life Lost
He was my cousin, but more like a brother to me...my formative years were spent in his presence. He is probably the reason i can be described as a tomboy, or am quite comfortable in the presence of men, though i had no true father figure. Though he couldn't teach me the intricacies of romantic love, he certainly was able to impart brotherly love. He fed me bird peppers once, not even tomato and sugar could cool that heat and i took many a beating to cover for him...yes i was that in awe of my big cousin who was like a brother to me....I was the only girl on the avenue playing 'salad' a kick, but if he was playing then surely so should I.
There was so much promise, so much potential ignored. He could have been anything he chose...he was a teacher and a father, but none seemed to mean a lot to him. Hard work got overshadowed by easy gain. His was a life lost. It was hoped that losing his mom to that dreaded curse, cancer, at much too young an age would have helped him to rise instead of pushing him further down. it did not. It
was hoped that as his kids achieved without much input from him, it would have given him a sense of pride and a yearning to himself achieve. Instead he fell further into the abyss called life. Trouble with drugs, trouble with the police...accused of a wrong, yet set free, we thought that again this would be a chance at a new beginning...unfortunately it was not to be.
His was a life cut short at the relatively young age of thirty eight by a police man's bullet. While the circumstances are at this time unclear, what is truly clear to me is that i am grieving for what could have been, and what never will have the chance to be.
I hope whatever demons you were fighting in life have let you be in death.
There was so much promise, so much potential ignored. He could have been anything he chose...he was a teacher and a father, but none seemed to mean a lot to him. Hard work got overshadowed by easy gain. His was a life lost. It was hoped that losing his mom to that dreaded curse, cancer, at much too young an age would have helped him to rise instead of pushing him further down. it did not. It
was hoped that as his kids achieved without much input from him, it would have given him a sense of pride and a yearning to himself achieve. Instead he fell further into the abyss called life. Trouble with drugs, trouble with the police...accused of a wrong, yet set free, we thought that again this would be a chance at a new beginning...unfortunately it was not to be.
His was a life cut short at the relatively young age of thirty eight by a police man's bullet. While the circumstances are at this time unclear, what is truly clear to me is that i am grieving for what could have been, and what never will have the chance to be.
I hope whatever demons you were fighting in life have let you be in death.
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Sunday, December 17, 2006
Mosquitoes and Me
Everybody who knows me, know that mosquitoes don't bite me...somewhere somehow in some conversation it will come up and i will make it known. If i am standing with a group of people and they are all being bitten, I am standing there quite calmly, accusing them of lying because i feel nothing. Of course, the general consensus is that i have 'bad blood', because it seems mosquitoes only bite those with 'good blood'. Well it seems my blood must have gotten a whole lot better lately, because the mosquitoes have taken to me with a vengeance. Of course, while i am happy with the improved status of my blood, it just happens to coincide with the outbreak of Malaria that we are facing in Kingston.
I now have aromatic mosquito candles, insect repellent, my trusty vape mats....and still i am being bitten...it has gotten to the point where i don't even care anymore...i just nonchalantly comment to those around me...."darn these mosquitoes"...of course i am keeping a watch for flu like symptoms and will certainly take myself off to the nearest hospital or to my mommy in Mobay if any were to manifest. I can be sure of good care in mobay because my mom is a well liked and respected nurse at the major hospital there....thank god for mommy! Still i wonder what's the flying range of mosquitoes? and Kingston (hell Jamaica!!) is so damn small, can i be content knowing that i live on the other side of the city from the most affected communities?
I now have aromatic mosquito candles, insect repellent, my trusty vape mats....and still i am being bitten...it has gotten to the point where i don't even care anymore...i just nonchalantly comment to those around me...."darn these mosquitoes"...of course i am keeping a watch for flu like symptoms and will certainly take myself off to the nearest hospital or to my mommy in Mobay if any were to manifest. I can be sure of good care in mobay because my mom is a well liked and respected nurse at the major hospital there....thank god for mommy! Still i wonder what's the flying range of mosquitoes? and Kingston (hell Jamaica!!) is so damn small, can i be content knowing that i live on the other side of the city from the most affected communities?
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Jamaica....the Tourist Mecca
Tourists love Jamaica. I know its not the sand, sea nor sun...quite a few places have this - extremely beautiful beaches, and a lot of them have better infrastructure - roads, airports, transportation......but still tourists love Jamaica. Now the Spanish (Spaniards, Mexicans, Dominicans) have realized this and are literally taking over the North Coast, our main seat of tourism; and when the build they do not go small, I am talking about 3000 rooms, 2000 rooms, 1500 room hotels. Pretty soon the north coast will be like Miami, in that if you don't speak spanish, you won't be able to communicate with 50% of the residents.
Now why do the tourists love Jamaica....THE PEOPLE....yup, i know you don't believe it, but the very same people who pillage and murder each other (ok, alright, the majority of us are nice) is the the same people that keep the tourists coming back (and a lot of them do)! They talk about the vibrance of life here, the fact that there is a speaker box on every corner and the sounds of reggae/dancehall blasting from every shop, shed and fowl coop in sight; the fact that a domino table set up on the sidewalk can be the seat of entertainment for hours; the fact that we are gonna approach you and 'beg u a smalls' and even if we don't get it, we will assist you and smile same way (sometimes..lol); the fact that the girls walk around in little and nothing and gyrate their bodies in the most fascinating ways while creating new dance moves that take over the world. Yes, tourists love Jamaica.
Montego Bay is the known capital of Jamaica's tourism. It has the majority of hotels room (at this time) and a population geared around the needs of the tourist. Let me describe Mobay briefly to you. There is 100 feet of flat land in from the sea, most of which is reclaimed land. The airport sits at one end and sewage ponds at the other end. The rest is beaches, hotels, clubs, restaurants and shops all geared for the tourists. The rest of Mobay is all uphill and this is where the Jamaicans live, in mainly small, hastily developed, unplanned communities, lacking in infrastructure and order which they then attempt to urbanize after the fact. Mobay also has a lot of migration into it from surrounding parishes, everybody trying to get a piece of the tourism pie and of course there are high levels of unemployment.
I say all that to say this, Montego Bay is spiralling out of control...within the last month, there have been three multiple murders recorded. It seems when they go to kill, the just make a big party out of it, and kill as many as they are able to stomach in one go. Already, the murder figures for this year have far surpassed those of last year and the we still have a month to go. Luckily for us, the killing is kept on the hills and the 100 feet of flat land remains pretty violence free, but how long is this going to last, and what happens when the tourists no longer like the tourism capital, and does anybody listening to the news make a distinction between the 100 feet of flat land and the hills?
Anyway I must big up Jamaican tourism interests, cause they must be doing something right. I remember just the other day (maybe 5-10 years ago) when we welcomed for the first time ever 1 million stop over visitors in Jamaica in one year. This year, they are projecting that we will see 3 million stop over visitors!! Considering that Tourism and Bauxite are the only money earners in Jamaica, this is an extremely good thing.
I am ending on a happy note today!
Now why do the tourists love Jamaica....THE PEOPLE....yup, i know you don't believe it, but the very same people who pillage and murder each other (ok, alright, the majority of us are nice) is the the same people that keep the tourists coming back (and a lot of them do)! They talk about the vibrance of life here, the fact that there is a speaker box on every corner and the sounds of reggae/dancehall blasting from every shop, shed and fowl coop in sight; the fact that a domino table set up on the sidewalk can be the seat of entertainment for hours; the fact that we are gonna approach you and 'beg u a smalls' and even if we don't get it, we will assist you and smile same way (sometimes..lol); the fact that the girls walk around in little and nothing and gyrate their bodies in the most fascinating ways while creating new dance moves that take over the world. Yes, tourists love Jamaica.
Montego Bay is the known capital of Jamaica's tourism. It has the majority of hotels room (at this time) and a population geared around the needs of the tourist. Let me describe Mobay briefly to you. There is 100 feet of flat land in from the sea, most of which is reclaimed land. The airport sits at one end and sewage ponds at the other end. The rest is beaches, hotels, clubs, restaurants and shops all geared for the tourists. The rest of Mobay is all uphill and this is where the Jamaicans live, in mainly small, hastily developed, unplanned communities, lacking in infrastructure and order which they then attempt to urbanize after the fact. Mobay also has a lot of migration into it from surrounding parishes, everybody trying to get a piece of the tourism pie and of course there are high levels of unemployment.
I say all that to say this, Montego Bay is spiralling out of control...within the last month, there have been three multiple murders recorded. It seems when they go to kill, the just make a big party out of it, and kill as many as they are able to stomach in one go. Already, the murder figures for this year have far surpassed those of last year and the we still have a month to go. Luckily for us, the killing is kept on the hills and the 100 feet of flat land remains pretty violence free, but how long is this going to last, and what happens when the tourists no longer like the tourism capital, and does anybody listening to the news make a distinction between the 100 feet of flat land and the hills?
Anyway I must big up Jamaican tourism interests, cause they must be doing something right. I remember just the other day (maybe 5-10 years ago) when we welcomed for the first time ever 1 million stop over visitors in Jamaica in one year. This year, they are projecting that we will see 3 million stop over visitors!! Considering that Tourism and Bauxite are the only money earners in Jamaica, this is an extremely good thing.
I am ending on a happy note today!
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
No One Untouched
I had a dilemma.
I am attending a wedding on Saturday in Montego Bay, the wonderful second city where I attended high school, and i have a beautiful outfit in black and white that i am planning to wear. I however mentioned it to my mother and she was mortified about my choice of colours. I then polled the opinions of my friends and the people on a message board that i frequent. Thank god the consensus is that i can happily and comfortably wear my black and white outfit to the wedding. Hopefully the bride wont be upset, or think that i am trying to upstage her (why would this even enter one's mind?), but what i am sure of is that if i do get Mr. 1600 miles to the altar, i really don't care what you wear. (J/k Mr. 1600)
Unfortunately one of the first person's i spoke to sounded rather upset on the phone and i commented on this. She then told me that she had lost a close family member the night before in a much publicized triple murder in Montego Bay. I barely had words to say. I imagined myself in her shoes, i commiserated, i grieved! She indicated that she would be heading to Mobay for the weekend, same as myself. Two friends heading to the second city, but while i would be celebrating a new beginning, she would be mourning a life lost.
I then realized that whether its someone you know, or someone related to someone you know, the majority of us are impacted sooner or later by this war that rages across our shores.
Will it ever stop?
Can we stop it?
How many more lives to be lost?
I am attending a wedding on Saturday in Montego Bay, the wonderful second city where I attended high school, and i have a beautiful outfit in black and white that i am planning to wear. I however mentioned it to my mother and she was mortified about my choice of colours. I then polled the opinions of my friends and the people on a message board that i frequent. Thank god the consensus is that i can happily and comfortably wear my black and white outfit to the wedding. Hopefully the bride wont be upset, or think that i am trying to upstage her (why would this even enter one's mind?), but what i am sure of is that if i do get Mr. 1600 miles to the altar, i really don't care what you wear. (J/k Mr. 1600)
Unfortunately one of the first person's i spoke to sounded rather upset on the phone and i commented on this. She then told me that she had lost a close family member the night before in a much publicized triple murder in Montego Bay. I barely had words to say. I imagined myself in her shoes, i commiserated, i grieved! She indicated that she would be heading to Mobay for the weekend, same as myself. Two friends heading to the second city, but while i would be celebrating a new beginning, she would be mourning a life lost.
I then realized that whether its someone you know, or someone related to someone you know, the majority of us are impacted sooner or later by this war that rages across our shores.
Will it ever stop?
Can we stop it?
How many more lives to be lost?
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Saturday, October 21, 2006
Good to be a Journalist?
Though i hate to say it, life in Kingston seems to become more hazardous as the days go by. I still have to give thanks that i have never had an incident (knocking on wood), however the caution with which one must approach everyday life must only be exceeded by that of someone living in a nation at war.
The headlines this week were dominated by stories in which journalists featured prominently. In the first, a well known and loved radio talk show host was hijacked and kidnapped on the grounds of the much secured, though obviously unsecure, University of the West Inides (UWI) at about 7 pm in the evening. He overheard phone conversations which indicated that his motor vehicle was to be sold (a buyer was waiting) and he killed. His saving grace however was that they searched the vehicle and came upon his gun licence, and hence learned his name and that he was the beloved 'Ragashante'. At that point they indicated to him, that they would not kill him and actually took him back within walking distance of UWI where he was left in a field. It is obviously good to be a journalist.
A photo of the Prime Minister doodling during a debate in which a no confidence motion was being brought against her government, made it to the front page of one of our daily newspapers. See Article and Doodle here! Frankly i have no comments on the incident at hand as i am still unable to comprehend the PM's obvious disinterest in the nation's business. It however resulted in the banning of journalists from certain areas in the Nation's Parliament...you know those areas where it may be possible to catch a doodle on camera.....I am now thinking that its not so good to be a journalist afterall.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Things Fall Apart
This title is very apt for a number of goings on in the society today.
Lets start with the most interesting......The People's National Party (PNP), the governing party in Jamaica are being accused of taking 'gifts' from a multinational company with which the country does business. Now in my opinion, no matter how u look at it, acceptance of such a 'gift' was inappropriate for a number of reasons. It was paid just around the time a new contract was being negotiated, the 'gift' is greater than the money earned by the country in any one year from the partnership, the gift horse, Trafigura Baheer, is not allowed under european laws to give 'gifts', the 'gift' was paid into a personal account rather than that of the party...and last but not least, Trafigura has insisted that it gave no 'gift' but had a commercial agreement with the body to which the money was paid....SOMETHING STINKS IN PARADISE!!
Anyway the local newspapers are covered with stories about this item so u can click any of the links below for more details - The Jamaica Gleaner, The Jamaica Observer and The Jamaica Herald.
Secondly..it is reported that seven person were killed in one community within the past two weeks. The latest being that of a bus conductor who parted a fight between two girls (students in uniform), one of whom returned with men who dragged the conductor off the bus and took him to a nearby premises where he was shot in the head three times. The young lady was reportedly upset beccause the conductor had prevented her from stabbing the other girl. Things fall apart?
Lastly, tomorrow i shall call off the agreement to purchase the much loved apartment. It seems in the opinion of the valuator, it is worth at least 2 million less than what it is being sold for. Unfortunately for me, this is the opinion that the bank relies on and therefore i would not be able to obtain enough money from them to cover the deal. I am still hoping that the sellers will reduce their price substantially, but really i know this is a wild hope. So, as soon as this post is done i am off to go view some apartments advertised in the paper today. Hopefully i will fall i love with those and things will be put back together again.
Wish me luck and since its also my birthday...i am hoping that the stars are on my side.
Blessup until next time!
Lets start with the most interesting......The People's National Party (PNP), the governing party in Jamaica are being accused of taking 'gifts' from a multinational company with which the country does business. Now in my opinion, no matter how u look at it, acceptance of such a 'gift' was inappropriate for a number of reasons. It was paid just around the time a new contract was being negotiated, the 'gift' is greater than the money earned by the country in any one year from the partnership, the gift horse, Trafigura Baheer, is not allowed under european laws to give 'gifts', the 'gift' was paid into a personal account rather than that of the party...and last but not least, Trafigura has insisted that it gave no 'gift' but had a commercial agreement with the body to which the money was paid....SOMETHING STINKS IN PARADISE!!
Anyway the local newspapers are covered with stories about this item so u can click any of the links below for more details - The Jamaica Gleaner, The Jamaica Observer and The Jamaica Herald.
Secondly..it is reported that seven person were killed in one community within the past two weeks. The latest being that of a bus conductor who parted a fight between two girls (students in uniform), one of whom returned with men who dragged the conductor off the bus and took him to a nearby premises where he was shot in the head three times. The young lady was reportedly upset beccause the conductor had prevented her from stabbing the other girl. Things fall apart?
Lastly, tomorrow i shall call off the agreement to purchase the much loved apartment. It seems in the opinion of the valuator, it is worth at least 2 million less than what it is being sold for. Unfortunately for me, this is the opinion that the bank relies on and therefore i would not be able to obtain enough money from them to cover the deal. I am still hoping that the sellers will reduce their price substantially, but really i know this is a wild hope. So, as soon as this post is done i am off to go view some apartments advertised in the paper today. Hopefully i will fall i love with those and things will be put back together again.
Wish me luck and since its also my birthday...i am hoping that the stars are on my side.
Blessup until next time!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Silly Season
Ahhhhhh the silly season is here again.....no, not christmas! GENERAL ELECTIONS!!
Our system of government, handed down by the british, consists of an upper and lower house. The lower house is elected by the people in a general election...there are some sixty constituencies and at the end of voting, whichever party wins the most seats, put forward their leader as the next prime minister. The upper house is then chosen by those parties that were lucky to get a seat along with a few independents thrown in to make things interesting.
Historically, in Jamaica land we love, with elections comes violence...and i am talking violence that results in death. There has been no date announced for an election, but it has basically been confirmed that one is soon to take place..........and so the killing begins....of course mainly in depressed communities severly loyal to one party or the other. Based on the rhetoric being thrown out, if you know the community is loyal to the other party, you have no right to go campaigning in this area! Now if i were to write my thoughts on this, i would have to do so in all caps, and i dont want to be rude...so i will leave it for you to comment on. Already there have been deaths and attacks in more that one community and we the level headed people look on and wonder when will they learn....the people they are fighting over live uptown beside each other.....what the hell are they fighting for??
Unfortunately they are fighing for something....they are fighting for the scarce benefits that come with voting for the party in power..they are fighting so that they aren't left out in the cold if they vote for the wrong party, they are fighting so that they can 'eat a food' for the next 5 years when their candidate wins...We all know that its the type of politics we practice that leads to the violence, but when are we going to find the courage to create change?
Our system of government, handed down by the british, consists of an upper and lower house. The lower house is elected by the people in a general election...there are some sixty constituencies and at the end of voting, whichever party wins the most seats, put forward their leader as the next prime minister. The upper house is then chosen by those parties that were lucky to get a seat along with a few independents thrown in to make things interesting.
Historically, in Jamaica land we love, with elections comes violence...and i am talking violence that results in death. There has been no date announced for an election, but it has basically been confirmed that one is soon to take place..........and so the killing begins....of course mainly in depressed communities severly loyal to one party or the other. Based on the rhetoric being thrown out, if you know the community is loyal to the other party, you have no right to go campaigning in this area! Now if i were to write my thoughts on this, i would have to do so in all caps, and i dont want to be rude...so i will leave it for you to comment on. Already there have been deaths and attacks in more that one community and we the level headed people look on and wonder when will they learn....the people they are fighting over live uptown beside each other.....what the hell are they fighting for??
Unfortunately they are fighing for something....they are fighting for the scarce benefits that come with voting for the party in power..they are fighting so that they aren't left out in the cold if they vote for the wrong party, they are fighting so that they can 'eat a food' for the next 5 years when their candidate wins...We all know that its the type of politics we practice that leads to the violence, but when are we going to find the courage to create change?
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