Sunday, January 28, 2007

A Life Lost

He was my cousin, but more like a brother to formative years were spent in his presence. He is probably the reason i can be described as a tomboy, or am quite comfortable in the presence of men, though i had no true father figure. Though he couldn't teach me the intricacies of romantic love, he certainly was able to impart brotherly love. He fed me bird peppers once, not even tomato and sugar could cool that heat and i took many a beating to cover for him...yes i was that in awe of my big cousin who was like a brother to me....I was the only girl on the avenue playing 'salad' a kick, but if he was playing then surely so should I.

There was so much promise, so much potential ignored. He could have been anything he chose...he was a teacher and a father, but none seemed to mean a lot to him. Hard work got overshadowed by easy gain. His was a life lost. It was hoped that losing his mom to that dreaded curse, cancer, at much too young an age would have helped him to rise instead of pushing him further down. it did not. It
was hoped that as his kids achieved without much input from him, it would have given him a sense of pride and a yearning to himself achieve. Instead he fell further into the abyss called life. Trouble with drugs, trouble with the police...accused of a wrong, yet set free, we thought that again this would be a chance at a new beginning...unfortunately it was not to be.

His was a life cut short at the relatively young age of thirty eight by a police man's bullet. While the circumstances are at this time unclear, what is truly clear to me is that i am grieving for what could have been, and what never will have the chance to be.

I hope whatever demons you were fighting in life have let you be in death.

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