Saturday, July 30, 2005

Demanding Women??

Last week the dominant topic in a weekly magazine was "Are Jamaican Women Demanding?" I read the comments with interest and found of course that the men all agreed and for the most part the women disagreed. People's definition of demanding didn't coincide either and i would have loved if the originators of the feature had included a definition of "demanding". I must say we are NOT demanding......just a LITTLE effort and attention is required.

I say that to say this.....i was all set for my date last friday, and being the considerate woman that i am (not wanting to send anybody into bankruptcy), i suggested that we see a movie....I was quickly informed that there was no money available and we should just "hang" instead. I suspected too that "hanging" would be at my little bachelorette pad.....of course i declined. Was that being mercenary or demanding....i dont think so.

I have a friend, my very best friend, who lives in miami. She is a nurse, has a bachelors degree in computer science and a masters in information systems and has recently qualified as a real estate agent. She owns a lovely two storey, at least 2000 sq. ft. home, complete with pool in the backyard. A dream home. She is also single. She went on a date with a 30 something young man who had just completed his engineering degree and then reported that she wouldnt be seeing him again as he had no prospects. I asked her to explain.....she went on to say that this young man shares rented accomodation, complained about life while repaying student loans and looked like he was headed nowhere fast. I had to agree with her....at our age (lol) we cannot become financial providers for any man.....Any man we choose to become involved with must bring approximately equal or greater assets to the table or at least look like he is capable of doing so in the future.

Is that being mercenary or demanding?

5 comments:

search said...

Neither mercenary nor demanding...it's about having standards...wanting someone like minded about what is expected of each person in a relationship...and not accepting less than that.

now your date was a flop - he was expecting one thing and one thing only...how the man ask you (well, he really told you) out on a "date" and doesn't have any intention of at least treating you to a drink. I hope you said thank you very much, but I'll be heading home now....

and your friend...while I understand her position, I would have to say it's a situational or case by case decision...if the young man is heavily indebted (like many of us are) with school loans, I can understand his sharing a living space, being frugal to pay down the debt...hopefully working at something professional in the process, too...

but if he's doing absolutely nothing, then I can understand her letting him go.

I agree with your initial observation, though...a definition would help a lot towards understanding what men deem as demanding in women, while we may see it as being careful about what we're getting into.

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